About those snowplow names!

I’m seeing more folks acknowledging high probabilities we’ll be getting 10 to 15 inches of snow, or more, this coming week. That raises the interesting question of where people are going to stack it as they plow roads and shovel steps and snow blow driveways. I’m thinking our best chance at being able to get out of the garage is to use the snow blower. But!!!, there’s a frozen-over puddle in the driveway that looks ripe for entrapping the blower if it breaks through the ice. At that point we’ll start the tractor and use a tow strap to pull the blower out of the puddle. If the tractor gets stuck, there’s the Jeep and 4wd low range. Can you see where this could be going? Do you understand why I’m praying for the storm to track well south, east, west or north of us? Alternatively, since we have plenty of coffee and reading material, the strategy may be to say “Ta hell wid it!” and just read and drink coffee until the damn stuff melts.

puddle pit trap for a snow blower?

Photo by J. Harrington

Personally, I’m inclined to blame MNDOT and their insipid Name a Snowplow contest. It’s not the premise of the contest that’s the problem. I believe the names chosen are so outrageously disrespectful that the gods and goddesses of winter have decided Minnesota must be punished. I can’t blame them but I wish they would find a way to spare those of us who ignored the contest and neither submitted a suggestion nor voted for winners.

Meanwhile, as relations between the US and China deteriorate, the Chinese are working towards a solution that might see the elimination of snowplows and ridiculous naming contests. According to a report on Slashdot:

Scientists from China's Hebei University of Science and Technology have developed an ice-melting additive for asphalt that could remain active for years....

Now, if there were a way to combine that additive with porous pavement on my driveway, I could probably get rid of the snow blower and never again be concerned about getting stuck in a driveway puddle. That would be real progress and a great way to partially adapt to climate weirding. Getting close to an inch of rain in mid-February is about as bizarre as naming snow plows.

A Little Shiver

By Barton Sutter

After the news, the forecaster crowed

With excitement about his bad tidings:

Eighteen inches of snow! Take cover!

A little shiver ran through the community.

Children abandoned their homework.

Who cared about the hypotenuse now?

The snowplow driver laid out his long johns.

The old couple, who’d barked at each other

At supper, smiled shyly, turned off the TV,

And climbed the stairs to their queen-size bed

Heaped high with blankets and quilts.

And the aging husky they failed to hear

Scratch the back door, turned around twice

In the yard, settled herself in the snow,

And covered her nose with her tail.

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