This is only a test

The universe is estimated to be almost 15 billion years old; the Earth about 4.5 billion; humans (Homo sapiens) less than a million. I need to remind myself of this so I can keep in perspective that we are, literally, not only "a child of the universe,” but children on a universal timescale. Is it any wonder that we continue to make monumental mistakes? Plus, there are indications that this whole existence thing is just an experiment, to see if it works. Maybe, by the time time has run its course, everything will just disappear into a last singularity, a mega black hole.

Meanwhile, I don’t give a damn about a cage match between X-man and Zuckface. I do need to do more to break my current pattern of awakening in the morning, walking dogs, getting coffee, checking local and international news, watch my mood go to hell again, check social media, watch my mood worsen. If I reframe life as an experiment in which I (and you) are involuntary participants, and realize how many failed experiments often precede any kind of success, it doesn’t all seem as bad.

Leopold shack and pines

Photo by J. Harrington

An example? from Estella Leopold’s Stories from the Leopold Shack, 

“The first phase of the family’s annual pine planting ran from spring 1936 until spring 1939. Those were the dust bowl years, and during the first droughty summer of 1936 almost all the little pines died....

We continued to plant thousands of pines the next year, and most of those died, ...” 

These days, the pines that finally made it are being thinned so the mature trees can be replaced with seedlings.

There are also stories about Edison and his inventions that highlight the nature of experiments: “‘Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results! I know several thousand things that won’t work.’” I think you get the picture.

So, much as I find it challenging to accept, henceforth, I shall spend less time doom-scrolling and more time rereading this:

Desiderata: Original Text

This is the original text from the book where Desiderata was first published.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

by Max Ehrmann ©1927

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